TERRY, United States Navy & National Guard

Age: 48

Rank: E6 Sergeant Staff

Served in: Japan, Korea, Philippines, Australia, Thailand, and Iraq (two tours)

All my life I’ve lived the military lifestyle. As the son of parents in the service, I spent my childhood with my three younger brothers traveling from place to place, spending most of our time in San Diego and Hawaii. When I was old enough to serve I enlisted in the Navy ready to escape from San Diego and travel the world on my own—that was the plan at least. It had been settled that I would take my first assignment half way across the world in Japan, but at the last minute I was given orders to take an assignment as an F-14 Mechanic five minutes from my own doorstep at Miramar—San Diego.

Despite the initial disappointment, the Navy lived up to all that I hoped it would be. By the time I turned twenty I had traveled around the whole world once. I spent time in Thailand, Korea, Australia, the Philippines, and Japan (after all). One of my favorite experiences was the time I spent in Alaska. The Navy provided me not only the opportunity to travel the world, but also a chance to meet new and interesting people everywhere that I went. While in Alaska I met a family who owned an airport and befriended me, flying me over the beautiful glaciers.

After six years in the Navy I moved to Kansas. During this time I took on many positions including working for Santa Fe Railway, an EMT, law enforcement, and working for the State of Kansas. In 1992, I joined the Kansas Air National Guard.  During this time I completed two tours in Iraq. My first tour spanned from 2003-2005, the second 2006-2007. The first time I was stationed in Baghdad assigned to Special Forces to provide security on routes, missions, and bases. On my second tour with the Kansas Guard I was stationed in Balad, flying as a door gunner and crew chief on a Black Hawk. During those times I encountered multiple rockets, mortars, bombs, roadside bombs, shoot downs, and an IED that killed two of our personnel from the Kansas Guard and also a shoot down of EZ 40 that killed 14 people, 4 that also belonged to the aviation brigade.

After a total of twenty-four years of total service to my country I retired from the Kansas Air National Guard. Back at home in Carbondale, Kansas I returned to the love and support of my family as I faced a new challenge after the time I spent overseas—life with PTSD. Becky, my “other half” and I have been together for 15 years. She works as a legal assistant for the state of Kansas. Together we have three beautiful daughters ages fifteen, nine and three.

Now that I have recovered to an extent from a shoulder injury sustained during my service, I have begun volunteering with the local Fire Department, and work part-time as an AEMT (advanced). Eventually, my goal is get back into law enforcement. Working I have found is helpful in that for spans of time it keeps my mind focused on a task and places the constant anxiety and stress on the backburner for a moment.  It isn’t, however, a permanent solution. But I think my new service dog, Ivan, could be a part of my recovery. 

I’ve grown up around dogs my entire life. As I boy my family and I had a string of family pets—a few mutts, a Boxer, and a chow. At one time I had a Labrador that I planned to train as a search and rescue dog during my time in law enforcement. Unfortunately, when I deployed my landlord refused the dog, and was forced to find him a new home. From my long history of close relationships with animals, I can attest to the exceptional power of the animal-human bond. Dogs have always provided a calming presence for me, and that is why I believe that Ivan is going to be able to help me recover a piece of that security which will enable me to become a greater participant in the lives of my daughters. I think Ivan can pick me up off of the sidelines and into the action and obtain a sense of normality again.

Making this step is something that I wish I would have done much earlier. Post-traumatic stress in no small part takes a toll on the relationships with loved ones, as it has with my own. The stress and anxiety of my disorder has isolated and extracted myself from important experiences with my daughters. Unlike my wife, I have been unable to enjoy the things my eldest (age 15) enjoys doing, such as going to the mall, to concerts and festivals.  If I am able to make outings with my family, I can’t help but feel that I ruin these trips with feelings that are beyond my control. Large crowds, loud noises or even an occurrence of a crying spell by my youngest child causes me to withdraw completely and usually results in an abrupt end to a family trip or me returning home alone. Without action, PTSD no doubt distances oneself and causes riffs in the family.

This is what I would like to relay to someone in a similar situation, suffering from the effects of PTSD: Get help, Don’t let it ruin your life, get help—even it you think it will destroy your military career. The damage far outweighs all other consequences. One such consequence that resonates throughout your struggle is a feeling of worthlessness. I’ve watched my kids observe me to try and feel out what kind of day their dad is having. And that’s hard to watch your kids worrying about how you’re doing.

With Ivan, I believe that he is going to make a difference in my life and my family’s life for the better. My children are so excited for dad to be able to go out and do stuff with them again—and they’re also just really excited to have a dog in the house, especially my youngest. Ivan will make all the things that seem small to some, but that are really big things to me, such as a trip to the store much more relaxed. I’ll not have to constantly worry who’s behind me as I’m walking. In more places that we’ll go, I won’t have to withdraw myself to a corner in solitude, mindful to not turn my back to any person, when the panic becomes more than I can bear. He’ll also make it conceivable for my family and I to do things I never thought possible, like a trip to Branson during my children’s Spring Break, or a trip to Disneyworld later this year with my family. This, I suppose must be a perk as a service dog and I guess in this sense, Ivan and I are both pretty lucky to have each other.

Despite all the daily struggle and limitations that has come with a life accompanied by PTSD—I maintain the sentiment of why I joined the service many years ago: I enjoy being able to serve my county.  As hard as it may be for some to understand, there were parts that I enjoyed about deployment—mainly the camaraderie and close relationships that I formed with the men and women I served with. Back at home I remain close to those in my helicopter unit. We share stories and laugh about funny things that happened and reflect on the good times. The other details, we keep to ourselves. Back at home, I have lots of hopes for the future. My ultimate dream is living way out in the wilderness of Wyoming, the kind of place that when you turn onto a dirt road you still have an hour drive to the house. With three growing teenage girls that dream is out of the picture for the time being—maybe someday though. In the meantime, I have a lot to look forward to: I have the opportunity to watch my daughters grow first hand, better quality of time to spend with my wife, and the chance to further serve my county which has been a part of my past, my present and always my future.

Ivan's Story:

Ivan is a one year old, Plott Hound/Pointer mix.  He was found as a stray outside Belton, MO and was taken to Wayside but his family never came for him.  Ivan was then adopted by Canine Rescue and Training Academy.  He is a very energetic and smart boy.  Ivan loves to make people happy and is always up to cuddle.  They do not come much sweeter than this little man!

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